When Life Doesn't Go As Planned...

In high school, my friends would always tell me, "You are going to be the first to get married and have children." In my mind, yes...that was going to happen. I would go to college, find the love of my life, have at least 4 children, and glorify God through marriage with my husband. All of this was supposed to happen before I turned 30, because you know that 30 is so old. 

2019 is the year that I turn 30. The things that I thought would be in place in my life are not even close to happening. Yet, the Lord knows the desires of my heart and I trust that whatever His plan is, it is much better than I could have ever planned. I read a short devotional recently that talked about Mary, the mother of Jesus. This is what stood out to me, "Mary had a complete change of expectations for the entire course of her life. In trust, she yielded herself, her dreams, her plans, her very body to the Lord; and then she celebrated in song the privilege of being used by Him in His kingdom plan." How true is this?! I don't know what Mary's "plan" was for her life, but I do know that it didn't involve being the mother to Jesus, the Savior of the world. 

Can I give up myself, my dreams, my plans, my everything to the Lord? Isn't that what He calls us to do anyways? Galatians 2:20, "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." If Christ lives in me, my dreams and plans are not mine but are now His. Whatever my life turns out to be, it should be honoring and glorifying to God. Maybe the Lord's plans are not for me to marry and have children, but to wholeheartedly serve Him without the distraction of a husband and children. "The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction." 1 Corinthians 7:34b-35

I know that the Lord's plans are much greater than my plans. He knows my heart and my dreams. He knows what is best. I have to trust in that and be thankful that He cares for what is best for me. 

"My soul magnifies the Lord,

47 

And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.

48 

For He has regarded the lowly state of His maidservant;

For behold, henceforth all generations will call me blessed.

49 

For He who is mighty has done great things for me,

And holy is His name."

Luke 1:46-49

Blessings in Disguise

Little did I know that being delayed three hours would bring blessings. As the saying goes, God works in mysterious ways!

Monday evening my plane was supposed to leave the small airport at 7:30pm. The plan was to fly to Denver...then arrive in Houston around 3:30am...get a hotel for the night...leave for Trinidad at 2:35pm. Instead of my plans working out, the Lord had another plan. When I arrived at the airport, I was informed that my flight was 3hrs delayed. Three hours meant that I couldn't make my connecting flight to Houston....(great). I called the airline who promptly told me to change my ticket it would be $900. (Absolutely not!) Then I was told $800!(No thanks!) Finally, we reached an agreement of $0 and found a flight. Unfortunately that flight was leaving at 5:30am. Instead of sleeping in a nice hotel for the night, I stayed awake in the Houston airport. Not much goes on at an airport from 1:30am-4:45am. I knew that if I fell asleep I would probably miss my flight. (For those of you who know me well, I can sleep through anything.) I open my computer and start watching a movie. I notice a woman walking around, she sees me and promptly sits down next to me. (Hmm...what should I do?) So, I decide to talk with her. I listen as she tells me about her grandchildren, job, life in general; we swap stories and photos. She missed her connecting flight because of a last minute gate change, so she was stuck in the airport until 9:30am. (And I thought my day was bad!) I begin to talk about church, missions, and God but she didn't want to hear it, so I decided to just listen and be a friend. We ended up watching "I Can Only Imagine." One of my favorite movies! (I cry every time I watch it, because I am overwhelmed by the power of God's forgiveness and love for us.) Sadly, we were unable to finish. 

Blessing #1- New friend who needs Jesus

Getting ready to board my flight to Houston. (Extremely tired) I do not stay awake all night. I can count on one hand the times that I have had to pull an all-nighter. As I am boarding, I am praying for a window seat so that I can lean on it and go to sleep for a few hours. In my mind impossible...because I had an aisle seat. Little did I know another blessing in disguise was waiting for me. My seat was all the way in the back, walking to the back of the plane, I look up and see a woman sitting in my seat. Confused, I checked my ticket and realized I wasn't mistaken, there was a woman in my seat. I politely tell her that is my seat when she said, "Oh I know! I was wondering if you would take the window seat so I can sit here." (Heart racing, singing praises to God!!) The small things make my God bigger! 

Blessing #2- Window seat...sleep.

Don't let circumstances control how you react. Trust God. Trust His timing. Trust His will. God used my circumstances. Use your circumstances to bring glory, honor, and praise to God, as I have learned! You never know whom you may encounter who needs to know the Lord and look for those small blessings!

"Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! 

 How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out! 

'For who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has become His counselor?

 Or who has first given to Him 

And it shall be repaid to him?'

For of Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to whom be glory forever. Amen."

Romans 11:36

 

Beauty Defined by God

As a young woman, I tend to focus on outward appearances. Thoughts go through my head of how I am not "pretty enough," "skinny enough," "fit enough," etc. At this point in my life as I am in my late twenties, I figured these self-doubts would end after high school or even college. Enough is enough!! No more putting myself down, I know that I am more than a physical face and body. I am a human, saved by grace, who struggles everyday with thoughts of inadequacy. "Could I have done something better? Can I change to make myself more of the things I listed above?" Because of my recent move, these thoughts tend to come more often. I suppose I feel this way because of my insecurities, lack of friends, and totally new environment, but that does not give me an excuse to feel this way!

In Christ I am:

Praiseworthy 

Proverbs 31:30

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, 

but a woman who fears the Lord, 

she shall be praised."

 

Beautiful

1 Peter 3:3-4

 "Do not let your adornment be merely outward—

arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—  

rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, 

with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, 

which is very precious in the sight of God."

New Creation 

2 Corinthians 5:17

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; 

old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."

 

Confident

2 Timothy 1:7

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, 

but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

Worthy of Love 

Jeremiah 31:3

"The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: 

'Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore with loving kindness I have drawn you.'"

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Psalm 139:14a

"I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." 

Strong

Joshua 1:9

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; 

do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, 

for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Bold

Proverbs 28:1

"The wicked flee when no one pursues,
But the righteous are bold as a lion."

Known

1 Corinthians 8:3

"But if anyone loves God, this one is known by Him."

Priceless

Proverbs 31:10b

"For her worth is far above rubies"

Valued

Ephesians 2:4-7

"But God, who is rich in mercy, 

because of His great love with which He loved us,  

even when we were dead in trespasses, 

made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved),  

and raised us up together,  

and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,  

that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace 

in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus"

These words are so much better than a petty definition of beauty in the world today! I am all the above in Christ. This is beautiful to Him! I am standing on how God defines me, not the world. Satan uses our insecurities, but God uses our imperfections for His glory! Be blessed and if you ever doubt yourself, know that you are loved by the God who gave up His only Son's life for you!

Moving West

As some of you may or may not know, I have moved back to my home state of Nebraska. A lot of prayer went into the move and I truly believe that this is where God wants me right now. Moving to Nebraska meant being closer to home. Although "closer" is still actually 8 hours from home. Who knew that Nebraska was so big?! (The red dot is where I am located and my family is just north of Omaha.)

My new little town is called Harrison, actually the Village of Harrison. It boasts 251 people...now 252. Everyone knows everyone and everything here. I can walk or ride a bike to school, the post office, bank, etc. because there is no need to drive with things so close. The nearest grocery store is about 30 miles away; nearest Walmart is 50+ miles. So far in the one week that I have lived here, I have hit two birds and one rattlesnake. I have seen antelope, buffalo, coyotes, deer, and of course horses and lots of cattle. The landscape out here is so different from anywhere that I have ever been. Huge open fields, buttes, sandhills, and the biggest sky ever! Who knew the sky was so big? It reminded me of the following verses from Job.

"Also with moisture He saturates the thick clouds; 

He scatters His bright clouds.  

And they swirl about, being turned by His guidance, 

That they may do whatever He commands them
On the face of the whole earth.
He causes it to come,
Whether for correction,
Or for His land,
Or for mercy.

Listen to this, O Job;
Stand still and consider the wondrous works of God.

Do you know when God dispatches them,
And causes the light of His cloud to shine?

Do you know how the clouds are balanced,
Those wondrous works of Him who is perfect in knowledge?"

Job 37:11-16

I can be driving in the car to a town and not pass anyone for at least 10 minutes. The average time between seeing cars (yes, my dad and I timed it) is about 1.5 minutes. Listening to the radio, "Today's modern music" the first thing that came on was "Chariots of Fire".....I suppose that is pretty modern for out here.
Oh yes, and don't forget that you may see cattle walking along the road, outside of the fence. You may even be stopped by policemen so that cattle can cross the road....yes this did actually happen.

Life has become a total change of pace, as you have read above.  Life is a much slower pace here in Harrison. God knew exactly what I needed in a new place, not what I had wanted or expected. I look forward to teaching and coaching in this small town and am grateful for this opportunity to serve the Lord in this way. 

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, 

to those who are the called according to His purpose."

Romans 8:28

Hola España

Hello Spain,

It's good to finally meet you. Your cities are beautiful and your people kind. You welcome with big hearts, but I wonder who has your heart. Is your heart set on God above or earth below?

As I sit and ponder you, I am amazed at the surrounding beauty, but my heart aches for you. You have a rich history in Christianity, but is it just history or is it now? Your churches stand over the centuries, yet it is just a building. How has the heart of Christianity stood? On top of the houses are crosses to mark where past Christians have lived, but has that legacy lived on? 

My heart does not ache just for you, but for those around the world. Those who are lost because they don´t know Jesus. How are they supposed to know when we look at the past? People need to see Jesus living now inside of us...inside of you now. "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16) 

Spain, you are one of the most historic and beautiful countries that I have ever been too. Know that I am praying for you and love telling you about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. God is working here. Open your hearts and minds to listen to what He has to tell you. His plans are much greater than ours.

Love in Christ,

Tabitha

God's Great Grace!

The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.

He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.

He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.

-Psalm 23-

How great is it to know that the Lord, who is the Creator, Sustainer, Provider, is our Shepherd. He loves us so much! What a comfort to me this is! The God of eternity cares enough for me! 

He cares enough to allow me, a simple-minded human being, share His love with others. While in Trinidad this past year, God gave me and a dear friend the opportunity to lead a young woman to Christ. If you have ever seen the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, it is a powerful thing! Her life and mine are forever changed. My heart rejoices at the thought of seeing her again someday in heaven!

Tired and Discouraged

A few weeks ago, I took a break from my usual work routine and went to the mountains for the day. I needed a break away from the stresses of teaching and coaching. It was a time for me to reflect on what the Lord has been doing in my life. As I sat down, the scripture that came to mind was 

Psalm 121 which says,

"I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help? 

 My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade at your right hand.

The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

 The Lord shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.

The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore."

On that day, I was so discouraged and tired. Tired of fighting for the right thing, tired of teaching and coaching, tired of not knowing the next step, tired of applying for jobs and not hearing anything back, just tired. Why didn't God care about all of those things? Why did I feel like He was being silent? Reflecting on it now, I know that God was not silent, that He did care and does care. He was asking me to be patient, to wait on Him, to release those chains weighing me down and to lay them at His feet. Once I finally let those chains go, God gave me a peace that everything would be ok. God's plan was much better than my plans ever were. If you are struggling today, know that God does care. He is taking care of every little detail and all you have to do is trust. Have faith that He knows what is best!