It has been awhile since I have posted a blog, but that is because I have not known what to say...
Jeremiah 29:11-14a, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your
heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord.
Isaiah 55:8-9
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
These are the verses that have kept coming to my mind lately. The Lord says specifically that He has made plans for me. Not "Me/I" have made plans for myself.
The past few weeks were rough. I have been so excited for China and so many of you have rallied behind me in prayers and some in support. Thank you! But, I am not able to go to China.
As I have mentioned before in my blogs and to people specifically, I have been waiting on my invitation letter to arrive from China. Things were going well with the paperwork and it looked like I would be getting the letter anytime. I received an email from my school in China stating that it was taking unusually long for the government to get me my letter, but I was not concerned. Well, a few days later, the school responded back saying that China would allow me to come, but that they would try again and see if it was a mistake. So the school graciously talked with the government again, and again the Chinese government said no.
"I do not understand why. How could everything be leading to China for the past 5 months? Ok, Lord, um...You must have made a mistake. I thought you told me I was going to China. Isaiah 55 says "My thoughts are not your thoughts." Alright Lord. Now where to?"
I am not going to lie. I was devastated when I first heard this news. Truly I still do not understand 100% why I cannot go to China. But then my Uncle sent me a text message. First off, you have to understand that reading one of my Uncle's text messages is like decoding a secret message, but this message was different. No "decoding" in this one. God knew that I needed to hear exactly what my Uncle told me:
"Easy for me to say but don't be discouraged. It is Not a situation u should be upset about. Remember God opens and closes doors when we don't fully understand. I think I remember u saying u were going to China until a red flag stopped you. Do not be discouraged. Remember I am still your Uncle. That should make you smile." (Yes, Uncle Andy, this does make me smile. Thank you! You are an important part of my life)
When I first accepted the position in China. My Uncle was the first to find out. I was at their house for the week. During our conversation about China, I did tell him that if a red flag came up, I would not go. Everything seemed to say go, and until the moment that a red flag came. I don't think the red flag could have been any more clear (the government refusing to let me in).
Some of you may ask...where to now?
My answer: I have no idea. Wherever the Lord leads. And at this moment, I do not know.
Thank you all for your prayers and support. I will continue to update this blog as I can. Please pray that I will find a job soon for August.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.
