If I were to speak to young women about the world’s distortion of what it means to be in a loving relationship, how sex is no longer sacred within marriage, and how they are an invaluable person who is worth waiting for...here is what I would say.
First thing first- You cannot undo what you have seen.
We live in a world today that glamorizes sex outside of a marriage context. According to the media, we should be self-seeking individuals who uses sex as satisfaction for our bodies. When we see this over and over again, we start to believe that it is ok. We see in romantic movies how everything works out when a woman gives herself to a man. The ending always happy...and they lived happily ever after. This is not real life!! The problem is that you, young women, are bombarded by these images of sex but you are not getting the biblical perspective. Song of Solomon states multiple times “Do not awaken love until the time is right.” Over and over this is repeated...why? I believe it is because God is giving us a warning; He gave it to Solomon then, and is now still giving that warning to us now. Sex being exploited is not a new thing. Those living in biblical times had the same temptations that we have, we now just have Satan using media to slowly bring us around to the idea that giving yourself away before marriage is normal. Do not allow the media to distort sex. Do not allow yourself to believe that how the media portrays relationships is correct because it isn’t. You cannot undo what you have seen so be careful and cautious about what you allow yourself to see and hear.
Second- Don’t feel left out.
Just because you are not in a relationship, just because you have not had sex, do not feel left out! Someday your husband will thank you for saving yourself for him. You do not want previous experiences to take away from your sex life with your future husband. Every time that you have sex with someone, you give a little piece of your heart away. At the time, you may think that it is ok because everyone else is doing it but don’t be like everyone else. Do not feel that you are being left out because you have decided that your body is sacred, that no one besides your husband should touch you intimately. Trust me when I say that it isn’t easy. It isn’t easy thinking that you are the only one who has decided to wait for sex. But I can tell you this, someday it will be worth the wait when you tell your spouse that you have waited for him and only him. For those of you who have already made the decision to have sex now, do not think that you are not worth the wait now, because you are! You cannot undo the past, but you can look forward to the future. It doesn’t matter what has happened in the past because God forgives. Once you accept this forgiveness, you are made clean. If you have truly changed, then your future spouse will forgive you also. That is the amazing power of grace. They will forgive. You are worth the wait ladies! Don’t feel left out!
Third- Don’t conform.
In Romans 12, it says “Do not be conformed to this world…” Do not allow the world to conform you to it’s standards. Do not allow the movie Fifty Shades of Grey to say that being in an abusive, controlling relationship is normal. Allow yourself to believe that you are beautiful in God’s sight. You are worthy of being waiting for. Don’t conform to the world’s standard that it is “normal” to have sex within your relationships. It may be normal to the world, but to God it is only allowed and blessed within the context of marriage. Stand up for yourselves! Stand up for your beliefs! Don’t conform, be different!
Last, but definitely not least- Be patient and wait.
No matter how hard this sounds, because it is hard, be patient and wait. I am in no way perfect by any standards, but I can tell you that I have made a commitment to God, my future husband, and to myself that I will wait. I will wait and be patient because it will be worth it. At this point in my life, patience is definitely hard. I am 25 years old and am still waiting. During this waiting period, pray. Pray for wisdom, pray for your future spouse, pray for patience. And while doing so, seek the Lord. He will not fail you. He will love you with an everlasting love that will be magnified when you marry your husband. Be patient and wait, ladies, it will be worth it!
