Walking on Water

Immediately Jesus made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side, while He sent the multitudes away. And when He had sent the multitudes away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. Now when evening came, He was alone there. But the boat was now in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves, for the wind was contrary. Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear.

But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.”

And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.”

So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!”

And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased.

Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God.”

Matthew 14:22-33

Have you ever had a moment(s) in your life when you doubted? I do...all the time. I second guess decisions; I wonder if what I am doing is what the Lord wants me to do; I think that I am incompetent. I think that when everything is working out the way it "should" it is good, but when it doesn't, I begin to doubt. Who am I to tell God that I everything must always be perfect? Who am I to think that God has not placed me here in this time to be a light to someone who needs it? Who am I to second guess? Hasn't God said that there is a time and place for everything under heaven? Isn't He the one who calms the storms with His hands, whose love is as far as the east is from the west, who has spoken the world into existence?

Where is my faith?

Peter asked Jesus to command him to come walk to Him on the water if it was truly Him. He had his doubts, yet Peter heard Jesus call and stepped out of the boat and Peter did walk on water! There are times in my life where I doubt if it is really God commanding me to do something. Is it really you, God? Just like Peter, I have to take a step of faith out of the boat, understanding that once out, I must keep my eyes on Jesus.

But what got in the way next after the step of faith that Peter took? The wind did. It was boisterous, meaning it was loud, unrestrained, rough, stormy, and massive! Peter became afraid of the wind. It temporarily took Peter away from his intent of walking on the water toward Jesus. Because of his "indecision and uncertainty," Peter began to sink as soon as He took his eyes of Jesus. How true does this ring in my life! I allow stress, indecision, doubt stand in my full view of Jesus and then I begin to sink. I fail at keeping my eyes on the one who gave His life for me, and I sink.

The good news for Peter and me is that Jesus saves. Peter cried out. "Lord, save me!" And what did Jesus do? He saved Peter. His hand outstretched, immediately, to Peter. Jesus heard Peter and responded. I cry out also. "Lord, save me from myself doubt, indecision, and stresses of life! Help me!" Guess what?! God does exactly that. Just like Jesus immediately put out His hand to save Peter, He has done and continues to do the same for me.

Peter took a risk by walking on the water because He knew that Jesus had the power to walk on water. So why not ask and do the same? Take a step of faith. Test the waters. And when you begin to doubt, know that God's hand is right there, ready to help you before you drown.

The Steel Pan Man

It was mid-morning, hot and humid, in Trinidad. I had stepped off the bus into familiar territory, a place that I had been before. Memories assaulted me from 7 years before. My first trip to Trinidad. My first VBS in Trinidad. My first connection with children in Trinidad. As I looked around I saw the familiar carts that would hold steel pan drums, a big open field with grass that came up to my ankles, a concrete slab where we once held puppet shows...and then I heard it. A faint, but consist tink...tink...tink. I looked across the open field to a small shack. Nothing. Nobody was there. So I paused and listened. Again, tink...tink, tink...tink. This time I realized it was coming from the left. I turned, looking into the sun. There across the field and across the road, I saw a man. The man was the one making that faint noise. Walking toward the man, the tink became louder. What was he doing? The sound drew me in and before I knew it, I was standing right next to him, watching him.

He was dressed in an old dark gray t-shirt, small holes littered the shirt. Cotton shorts and well-worn shoes covered the rest of his body. Sitting on a small stool, he was using a small hammer-like tool, tapping a steel pan. This steel pan was not the beautiful, shiny, polished pan. No, this pan was rusty, and brown, with a few small holes smattering the base of the drum. The man was focused. I watched as he would tap the drum, then rub his hand along the drum, feeling for any defects. As I stood there, I thought to myself, "Goodness, why does he take his time with that steel pan? Looks like junk to me." He read my mind. He turned, looked at me, and then proceeded to tell me about the steel pan drum. Each drum is hand-made by pounding steel, then sent to get polished and shined up, then sent back to the creator to be tuned again before being sent to be purchased. One drum takes months to tune, weeks to polish, and then more weeks to tune again.

The way that he almost, lovingly, tuned that steel-pan made me think of myself and my relationship with my Creator God and Savior Jesus Christ. God is like that man. He sees a "piece of junk" something that seems to be unusable, insignificant, worthless, and creates a beautiful masterpiece. He sent His only Son, Jesus, to come and give us a free gift of salvation, a chance at living and becoming a usable, significant, worthy masterpiece. I was once that old, ugly steel pan. God took the time to pick me up from that pile of junk, look at me, and see me for who I could be. He is molding be everyday. Tapping me, making sure that my "notes," my way of living, is beautiful and pleasing to Him. He will do the same for you, if you only ask.

Who is God calling me to be?

Who is God calling me to be? Not, what am I called to do.

Who am I? 

I am a child of God. And because I am a child of God, I am able to be molded into who God wants me to be. No matter how hard, or easy life is, I know that because I am God's child that I should not worry about the future. Does that mean that I will never worry, no. Does that mean that I will always be 100% sure of what I am "called to do," absolutely not, but I do know that it's not about what I am called to do, it is about who I am called to be.

God has called me to be a person who loves people. 

 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”- John 13:34-35

God has called me to be a servant. 

  

"You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love."- Galatians 5:13

God has called me to be a leader. 

"Command and teach these things. Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity."- 1 Timothy 4:12

God has called me to be a person of compassion. 

"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."- Colossians 3:12

 

God has called me to be a person who forgives. 

 "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."- Colossians 3:13


Sometimes Christians focus too much on outward "callings." Thinking that, "Oh, _(insert name)_ is doing the Lord's work by ministering overseas." or "My life as a Christian, does not mean as much as __(insert name)__'s life because I have not been called to do that particular thing, so I must not be important. No! False! As Christians, it is our duty to become the person that God wants us to be and has asked us to be.  

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus"

-Colossians 3:17

What if we all decided that we were "called" to go overseas? Who would be "called" to here? What if we all were "called" to teach? That would never work! Each member of the Christian body is like the actual, physical body. We cannot all be the eyes. We cannot all be the ears. Each has an important role in the functioning of the Christian body, but there is one thing that we all can be. We can all be the feet. The feet that proclaim the Gospel of Christ wherever we are! And we all can complement each other in the body of Christ. Complement means "a thing that completes or brings to perfection, a number of something to make a group complete." We all complete the body of Christ. That is what we are "called to be and called to do."

  "For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you 

 ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully." 

-Romans 12:3-8

God has given each one of us different gifts to be used. Do not ever think that your gift goes unseen. Do not ever think that you don't have a purpose. That your life is less important than (insert name)'s life. God has called each one of us to be the person who knows what we believe, why we believe, and a follower of Jesus Christ- the perfect example of who God has called us to be. Never think the Christian life is about actions/works. When you let the Lord work in your life, you will know who you are, who He has called you to be, and with that will come what God has called you to do.


But first, we must ask ourselves....Who is God calling me to be?

Love as I Loved

Yesterday my time was filled with vain and empty things,

And I was so busy with all that life brings,

People crowded in my way, 

But I pushed them all away,

They were just a senseless bother

Till I heard the Savior say:

Love as I loved,

Give as I gave;

These are the people that I came to save.

Love as I loved, and I will shine through,

Let others see My love, in you.

As I reflected on my summer in Trinidad, I read through my Trinidad journal and my recent blog posts. The entire summer was focused on love. Now that I am back in the States, what can I bring home from this trip? No matter where I am, I can love. I can love my students, neighbors, co-workers, church members, etc. Who am I to distinguish who I love, when God loves everyone! This may sound like a super simple and easy concept to undertake, but sometimes the simplest things are the hardest. What if each one of us stepped out of our comfort zones and loved our neighbor as ourselves? Would the world be a different place? I can tell you from my experiences in Trinidad, that Trinidad is a better place because of the love that is there. It is obvious that God's love is inside the hearts of the people. I have never felt so welcomed and at home, more than I do in Trinidad.

What was my purpose while in Trinidad? To show God's love towards all people. My everyday mission was to make sure that others knew that God loves them so much. Less of me and more of Him. But shouldn't that be my goal everyday? Just like this song says, I have become so caught up in empty things and so "busy" that I have forgotten who I live for and why I live. I live for the One True God! Alpha and Omega! Savior, Redeemer, Friend, Father! Who am I to forget who God is? How could I have become so selfish and self-centered? How can I change? How have I changed? Love! By loving my Heavenly Father and loving people like He loves me, my life has become much greater and circumstances much richer than I could have ever imagined.

Jesus Loves Me

Jesus Loves Me, such a simple, sweet song.  I have always loved Jesus Loves Me. If you come upon me tinkering on the piano, Jesus Loves Me, is one of the songs that I always play. Sometimes when playing or singing the song, I forget to listen to the words.

Jesus loves me this I know
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak, but He is strong!

Yes! Jesus loves me!
Yes! Jesus loves me!
Yes! Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so!

Jesus loves me, He who died
Heavens gates to open wide
He will wash away my sin
Let His little child come in.

Jesus loves me, He will stay
Close beside me all the way
Thou hast bled and died for me
I will henceforth live for Thee!

Such simple words with a sweet melody! Easy to remember and loved by those who are both young and old. This song became very special to me a couple weeks ago. I was helping a team with a Vacation Bible School. Upon arriving at the location, there were kids already waiting for us under the big tent. Immediately, I noticed a young girl about age 10 looking for someone. Her eyes wandered over every person getting off the bus and then she saw me. As soon as she saw me, it was instant recognition. When I saw her eyes light up and locked on to me, I did not know what to do. (Did I know her? How did she know me?) She came running towards me, gave me the biggest hug and said, "Hi, Best Friend!" So I said, "Hello?" She stood staring at me with huge brown eyes, I asked for her name and introduced myself. (For her sake, I will only give nicknames). Her name was Chunky. She was not chunky at all, but I suppose she was when she was little.

After our introduction, she sprinted off down the street. I was really disappointed. Why would she run to me, give me a hug, and then run away? I walked around talking with the other kids, but was still pondering why she would leave. I then looked up and see her coming, carrying a little girl. Chunky walked right up to me, handed me the little girl, and told me that the little girl's name was Pinkie. I asked why her nickname was Pinkie, and she said that when Pinkie was born, she was pink, so the name stuck. Now, Pinkie was different from her sister. She was about 2 years old and she would not smile for anything or show any emotion on her face. All I received was a blank stare and the only time I received any type of emotional response was when I tried to put her down, she would lift her arms back up and want me to hold her. So that's what I did. I held her and followed her sister around that first day.

The second day, Chunky found me again, gave me a big hug and handed me Pinkie. I realized that these were going to be my girls for the week. I determined that Pinkie was going to smile that week. I wanted to see her as a happy child. Pinkie was stuck in my arms that whole second day and while in my arms I would hum "Jesus Loves Me" and tell her that I loved her. The team also sang "Jesus Loves Me" everyday. At the end of the second day, I got a small smile from her!

The third day, Pinkie and Chunky were walking hand in hand. Pinkie ran right to me with a smile on her face. I was praising the Lord! Finally, breaking through to this precious child! We blew bubbles together and she had a full belly laugh going, but anytime another member from the team would try to get her to smile, it was like she went back into her shell, and you would see no emotion on her face. Also on this day, Pinkie was sitting in my lap coloring her Bible story page, when suddenly I felt a warm sensation. Pinkie had wet through her diaper and all over my skirt. I picked her up and Chunky said she would bring her home and back to VBS once Pinkie's clothes were changed.

The fourth day, I could see a change in Chunky and Pinkie. Both were happy and Chunky was telling me she loved Jesus. Pinkie, even though she was smiling and laughing, had not spoke any words. Just like the previous day, Pinkie was sitting in my lap, when all of a sudden a felt a flood of liquid. I picked her up and sure enough she had did it again except for this time no diaper, which is what contributed to the flood. This time, I decided to bring her home myself. I walked Pinkie home, and waited for her to get into some clean clothes. She then walked back to VBS with me.

The final day, Chunky and Pinkie greeted me with smiles and hugs. I was not ready to let them go. This was our last day together and I was praying for the Lord to work in their lives. Since the previous two days resulted in me getting wet, I kept track of time and promptly brought Pinkie home to use the bathroom before a wet accident happened again. On our way back to VBS, they had begun singing songs. I sat down with Pinkie and Chunky was right next to me. When the youth started singing "Jesus Loves Me" I sang along as always. While singing, I realized that something was different. Pinkie was singing along. This little girl, who said no words at all in the past five days, was singing "Jesus Loves Me." I gave her a big hug and told her that yes, Jesus does love you!! I was so happy I started to cry. Chunky looked at me funny, but I just smiled.

I know that Pinkie is too little to comprehend Jesus dying on the cross to save her, but hopefully she understood that Jesus loves her. If she does not remember anything else, I truly believe that she will always know the song "Jesus Loves Me" and I pray that one day she will come to know Him as her personal Savior. The hardest part about being here in Trinidad, is leaving behind the children and people that I have come to love. I may never see them again in this lifetime. But God has given me a hope that one day, I will hope to see them again in Heaven, praising our Lord and Savior!

Yes! Jesus loves me!
Yes! Jesus loves me!
Yes! Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so!

All of us together! (You see no emotion on Pinkie's face, because that was her typical face to other people).

Chunky showing me her art work.

Pinkie smiling!

Love Changes the World

Since being in Trinidad, there seems to be a theme so far that the Lord is teaching me. Love changes everything. There was a tent crusade Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, where the theme was love. This morning in Church, the theme was being the salt and light to the world. One of the ways to do that is to love.

One of many things that I love about Trinidad, is the people. Trinidadians love. They love each other, the church, and most of all the Lord. Being surrounded by people who daily choose to love each other despite differences in culture or religion, makes a world of difference. They shine God's light so bright that it is contagious. You cannot help but to feel at home and feel like part of a family when in Trinidad. Can we Americans say as much? When entering a church, immediately you are greeting with hugs and kisses and welcomed into their church family. I often wonder how American churches have thrived with what seems to be only a few people who reach out and love those who come through the doors. Love will change the world. It will change the world for the better.

I sat down this morning with the special speaker. During this time, we talked about how much beauty the Lord has surrounded us with in this world. How God is so merciful and gracious enough that He sent His only Son to die on the cross so that we could have life, and live life abundantly! What if we truly acted upon this love? What if instead of worrying about what others will think, or how something will never work out, we decided to forget the petty things in the world? We are nothing but dirt. We have been given new life in Christ! The only thing that is worth living and dying for is Him!
We live in and for the Lord! We die for the Lord!

Romans 14:7-8, "For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord's."

Galatians 2:20, "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me."

Our life is no longer our own. It is our duty, it should be our passion, it is our calling to share the love of God with others! This is life!

This is love, that God sent His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved! (John 3:16-17) So because of this life and love, we are to shine our light before men so that all may see the good works that we are doing in Christ so that they will glorify God! (Matthew 5:16)

God is a loving God. Lost people of the world will know that we are Christians by our LOVE. Our love for the Lord should be so strong and bright that anyone who knows us, knows that we are different. That we are a people set apart. That they want the same love in their lives.

What a difference love makes! Love Changes the World!

Reflections

As the school year closes out, I am reminded of how much the Lord has blessed me. I will have completed my second year of teaching, one year in my home, and many other blessings along the way. How far I have come in the past few years, from planning on moving to China, to moving to North Carolina, to traveling to Haiti and Trinidad, and so many other things! Since then the Lord has continued to work in my life, as I seek to serve Him. Here are a few things that I would like to share with you about what has been happening in my heart and life. 

Now that I am "settled" in my home and job, I have had multiple people tell me that the next step is finding a husband to complete the picture. That is all good and well, but why not wait on the Lord's timing and for God's man. For awhile I was struggling with my singleness, as I am sure most people my age have. As a result, I began to talk to the Lord through prayer about my life and how unfair it was that most of my friends are married and have children. My thoughts were so focused on the future, that God quickly reminded me that I need to live now, not in the future of what may be. God was faithful in answering my prayers of frustration, in that the God showed me that my life is now. I have time now to serve Him, to travel and do mission work, to leave on a whim, to pursue Him wholeheartedly with no distractions. What freedom and joy can be found in living in singleness! Who knew? That's not to say that I do not want to be married and serve the Lord with that special someone by my side, because I do, someday, but the Lord has given me a peace and contentment in waiting while serving. His time, not mine.

On another note, I am so grateful for having the opportunity to teach and coach at my school. God has been working in my heart with my students and hopefully they can see Jesus in me. I have had a pretty good school year. I am starting to figure teaching out. Although I do enjoy teaching, it is emotionally and physically draining. When I am frustrated, I am reminded that some students just do not know better, but I am also reminded that the reason for their actions is that they are lost. They have no purpose and have no understanding of what God has made us for; why life is worth living. It breaks my heart to no end, every day. This is when I know that God has placed me here to do His will; to show these students that life is worth living and that there is a God who loves them so much no matter what they have done.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35

"But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife.  There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction."